Don’t Always Baby Your Baby
Good parents realize that there is always much more for them to learn about in regards to being “good parents”. In a perfect world, parents would all have boundless energy, patience, knowledge, tolerance, understanding and flexibility, but no one is perfect. There is so much more to being a parent than just putting them to sleep, feeding them and buying their necessities. It also includes having a wide variety of practical skills in which more than majority of parents aren’t equipped with to have the ability to inquire, or even have the knowledge of the skill’s being, let alone their importance and affects.
When it comes to my stepson, or my own future biological children….it is not my job — and it is certainly not anyone else’s — to prevent them from feeling frustration, fear, or discomfort. If I do, I have robbed them of the opportunity to learn that those things are not the end of the world, and can be overcome or used to their advantage.
If they get stuck, it is not my job or anyone else’s to save them immediately. If I do, I have robbed them of the opportunity to learn to calm themselves, assess their situation, and try to problem solve their own way out of it.
- I don’t want my children to learn that they can’t overcome obstacles without help.
- I don’t want them to learn that they can reach great heights without effort.
- I don’t want them to learn that they are entitled to the reward without having to push through whatever it is that’s holding them back and EARN it.
- I want my children to know the exhilaration of overcoming fear and doubt and achieving a hard-won success.
- I want them to believe in their own abilities and be confident and determined in their actions.
- I want them to accept their limitations until they can figure out a way past them on their own significant power.
- I want them to feel capable of making their own decisions, developing their own skills, taking their own risks, and coping with their own feelings.
- I want them to climb that ladder on the slide without any help, because they can. I know it. If I give them a little space, they will soon know it too.
Because, as they grow up, the ladders will only get taller, and scarier, and much more difficult to climb. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather help them learn the skills they’ll need to navigate them now, while a misstep means a bumped head or scraped knee that can be healed with a kiss, while the most difficult of hills can be conquered by chanting, “I think I can” to “I know I can” to “I did it”