New Site

I know I haven’t written in a while, but I now have a new site. Www.SwagNotSwine.com please follow me.

My goal with this segment is to not only continue with a pork free diet, but a more healthy diet overall. No more sugary drinks and snacks, and avoiding all other high calorie and fat intake, and depending on healthier alternatives. Not only will I be documenting my personal progress, but sharing positive advice, support and information for all of you to also begin or continue a healthy, positive lifestyle.

Change is good and it’s good to change. Enjoy!

-Samantha Jonas-Rongo

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Color Code Your Keys

Nail Polish Keys

Its self-explanatory. Any questions, feel free to send an Email or comment.

Make sure to do two coats on each side. The only task that took up time was waiting for one side to dry before painting the other side.

12 Smart Ways to Save on Home Insurance

Key chain: Home shape and car keys

Few of us would consider the possibility of not having homeowner’s insurance.  Like paying for health insurance or utilities, it is just one of those annoying-but-necessary expenses we simply have to put up with, whether we want to or not, or whether we ever actually use it or not.

But have you ever stopped to consider whether you might be paying too much to insure your home?

The problem with expenses like insurance is that because we accept them as a fact of life, we don’t always think about making sure we are getting the best possible rate.  The truth is that homeowner insurance policies can vary a lot, and even if you shopped around when you first purchased your policy, new options or reductions may have become available in the meantime.  The most important thing to remember is that it is not your insurance provider’s job to make sure you are getting the best rate.  YOU must be your own best advocate when it comes to paying less for insurance.   As such, it is best to be vigilant about re-checking your policy once a year to make sure you are always paying as little as possible.

Still not sure where to start?  Here are 12 very smart ways to save on homeowner’s insurance that you may not have considered:

Shop Around

While it is easy to get attached to a particular agent or agency, particularly one who has served your family for years, it always pays to shop around.  Even if you decide to stick with your current provider, comparing prices and getting multiple quotes will give you a much clearer idea of what you could or should be paying, and will also give you more leverage for negotiating rates.

Take Advantage of Special Discounts

Many insurance companies provide special discounts for a variety of factors, including age, driving record, student report cards, and more.  They will not automatically apply these savings—you have to ask for them!  Be sure to review an updated discount list each year to see if your family has qualified for any new discounts.

Raise Your Deductible

One of the quickest ways to lower your insurance payment is to raise your deductible—the amount you would have to cover before your insurance kicks in.  This works because the more you have to pay out of pocket in case of emergency, the less risk the insurance company has to assume.  Of course the flip side is that in the event of an emergency, you would need to cover a much larger deductible, which means that this is only a good option if you are willing and able to keep an emergency fund in place. (In a sense, your emergency fund is like your own mini insurance policy.)

Only Insure the Cost to Rebuild

Most home insurance policies will automatically cover the total value of the home, rather than the cost to rebuild.  If you live in an area where the property values are higher, this means that you may be paying a premium to insure your land, when all you really should be insuring is the cost to rebuild in the event of emergency or disaster.  It is important to note that changing the amount you have insured may or may not be an option depending on your mortgage company.

Combine Policies

While shopping around is important, it can also payoff big time to carry all your various insurance policies with the same carrier to take advantage of a multiple-policy discount.  Furthermore, bundling policies can not only cost you less money, it can also make life easier by giving you one reliable contact (your agent) for your insurance needs and questions.

Make Your Home More Disaster Resistant

While prepping for a disaster won’t necessarily lower your insurance rates (though it might), it could save you from having to make an expensive claim.  In other areas, smart ways to prepare might include cutting down tall trees close to the house

The best way to prepare for a disaster is before it happens. In addition to taking precautions for protecting your house, it is a smart idea to create a disaster preparedness kit and household emergency plan just in case.

Improve Home Security

Installing a home security system is not as difficult or expensive as it might sound, and many insurance companies will offer a significant discount for homes with a home security system.  Adding additional locks, motion sensor lights, and other home security features can help as well.  Check with your provider for specific details.

Maintain A Good Credit Score

While this is not always the case, your credit score can have a big impact on your insurance rates.  Some insurance companies will consider anyone with poor credit “high risk,” which will ultimately result in a higher rate.  While not all insurance companies use credit as a gauge, it is definitely a smart practice to use credit wisely in any case in order to avoid potential red flags.

Ask for a Long Term Discount

While it is not necessarily a good idea to stick with the same old insurance carrier you’ve always had, there might be a way to make that loyalty work in your favor.  If you have been with the same insurance company for more than five years, be sure to ask about long-term discounts, which are rate reductions based on the number of years you have been insured through a particular company.  Again, these discounts won’t happen automatically, so you do still have to be vigilant, but it never hurts to ask!

Switch to Private Insurance

If you live in a high-risk areas that has been susceptible to flooding, hurricanes, or other natural disasters, you may have been told that your government insurance is your only option.  However, this may not be the case!  Be sure to check with a local insurance provider to see if there is a private insurance option available at a less expensive rate.  You may be surprised at what you find.

Buy a Cheaper House

While it might not be practical to move just to save on home insurance, the house you live in does have a huge impact on your insurance rates.  It goes without saying that the more expensive your home, the more expensive your insurance will be.  If you are in the market for a new house, consider downsizing to a smaller house or cheaper location.  Also look for features to your new house that will help keep rates down, such as added security or features that make it more disaster-resistant.

Compare Insurance Rates by Neighborhood

All neighborhoods were not created equal when it comes to homeowner’s insurance.  Proximity to the ocean, elevation, flood risk, and any other claims common to your neighborhood all play a factor, and, according to the Allstate policy expert that we spoke with, things like how close you are to a fire hydrant and fire station, environmental issues, theft and more are also considered.

This means that even just a few blocks can make a huge difference in what you will pay for your policy.  If you are shopping for a new home, be sure to consider location in your decision, and to find out what your insurance rate would likely be before you make an offer.  (Allstate has a tool you can use called Calm and Costly Claims  that helps identify the most common and costly claims in your zip code.)  The “perfect” house might not be as good a deal as you think!

The common theme running through all these ideas is that YOU as a homeowner must be vigilant about making sure you are always getting the best insurance rates.  Your insurance agent will not do this for you!  Set a date on your calendar to review your policy using the ideas on this list, then make sure to repeat the process annually.  You just be pleasantly surprised at how much you are able to save!

What Every Mom Needs to Know About Insurance

As parents, it’s our responsibility to make sure our kids are cared for. We go out of our way to keep our kids safe, from buying bicycle helmets to Band-Aids to winter coats, right down to holding their hand when they cross the street.

Most of us worry endlessly about our kids’ well-being. I know I do! But as much as we worry about the little things, it’s sometimes easy to let the big things, those risks and dangers that are a little more intangible—slip by ignored or unattended to.

A big part of protecting our kids, as well as securing financial peace, is making sure our families are covered for the big things including natural disasters, an injury or illness, job loss, or worse. Even so, it can sometimes be hard to determine exactly what coverage you need, especially when it seems like most insurance salesmen only want to play on your emotions.

When money is tight, you certainly don’t want to overspend on coverage that you don’t need, but you need be protected from major catastrophe. The best approach is to do your research ahead of time and be aware of the state of your family’s finances before you get a sales pitch.

It is important to remember that it’s not the insurance agency’s role to make sure you’re getting the best deal on insurance. It is up to you to be your own advocate and to get the best rate. Insurance isn’t something you can put on the back burner and just pay each month.

To get the best rates, you must continuously (at least once a year) revisit your insurance policies and do some comparison shopping. Plans and offers are constantly changing to meet the needs of the market. Rates can fluctuate as your family’s needs and situation change as well. Adding another driver, building on an addition to your home, changing your security system, or bringing a new member of your family into the world can all raise insurance questions and call for a little guidance.

There are seven types of insurance that you NEED: Homeowners/Renters, Auto, Health, Disability, Long-Term Care, Identity Theft, and Life.

Other insurances you should consider is also boat, farm and travel.

resizedimage600583-Home-Insurance-Icons

Home

If you’re paying a mortgage, the lender requires homeowner’s coverage, but even if you’re lucky enough to own your home outright, you want to be sure that you’re protected.

For renters, insurance protects your possessions in case of fire, theft and, in some cases, flood. Renters insurance is often thought of as optional, but as a parent, you must cover yourself in case of tragedy. Renters insurance is often really quite inexpensive (less than $20/month!) and it’s very important if you have big-ticket items that might be difficult to replace, such as audio equipment, collectables, exercise gear, televisions and appliances. Take inventory of your household and make a list of those larger items that could be damaged or stolen, and would result in major financial hardship if you’d have to replace them.

There are several ways to save on homeowner and renter’s insurance. You can raise your deductible, combine policies and do some home improvements and emergency preparations to raise the protection level on your home. Improvements to home security can also help you save, as can new windows, doors, and extreme weather protection.

Auto

 When we think insurance, auto insurance is often the first thing that comes to mind. Driving is possibly the highest risk activity that any of us do almost every day, and we all know the importance of having liability coverage. In many states, it’s now illegal to operate a vehicle without liability insurance or proof of financial responsibility.

In our litigious society, unfortunately, coverage is mandatory to protect yourself from financial ruin in case of an accident or driving mistake. One moment can change your life and the life of another driver forever. Trust me, your mind will be at ease when you know you’re protected.

When it comes to auto insurance, the value of your vehicle is important when you’re determining the amount of coverage and type of insurance you need. If your car is in its twilight years, you may feel comfortable with less coverage or just liability. If you have a newer car (or if you’re paying off a car loan), you need to have full coverage to keep your investment safe.

There are several other ways to save on car insurance. Shop around, compare rates, and don’t become too loyal to just one agency or provider. There are good driver discounts, multiple car discounts, and even good grade programs for driving teens and students. Installing safety upgrades or attending defensive driving courses can also help lower your monthly payments and save you when it comes to paying for coverage.

family health insurance coverage

Health

Health insurance is so important. As parents, we know we must take children to the doctor for regular checkups. We also know that serious health issues can come out of nowhere, and without coverage they can leave households financially devastated. For the many of us just surviving in todays middleclass, we make enough to pay all our bills, not enough for the extras, and too much for any assistance such as government plan health insurance such as Medicaid, family health plus and their attached HMO plans.

Many employers offer health insurance at a cost which also requires deductibles and co-pays, but if yours does not, or if you’re independently employed, private insurance providers are available. Under the Affordable Care Act, you may qualify for low-cost coverage based on your income. Keep in mind though, low-cost means anywhere from $200-$400 per person a month with deductibles and co-pays which is low cost for health insurance.

Consider a Health Savings Account and/or a high deductible plan to save the most. An HSA can save families thousands of tax-free dollars every year, which you can use toward your deductible, so your monthly premium will be lower. You can use your HSA for prescriptions, and depending on the plan, eye exams and preventative care.

Disability

Disability insurance should cover 65% of your income, and most employers offer disability coverage. It’s often something that’s overlooked, but one in seven workers will face a disability before retirement.

You should be sure your disability insurance is long-term. My personal opinion is that you should have 3–6 months of expenses saved up, which would cover your needs in the case of a short-term or minor disability. It’s the long-term scenarios that you should plan for. Most disabilities (90%) are not covered by worker’s comp or social security.

The effects of a disability can financially ruin a family if you’re not properly prepared. Many workers facing disabilities can be out of work for three years or more. Consider what would happen to your family should they face an unforeseen accident or tragedy that leaves you unable to work.

Long-Term Care

As a parent, long-term care is not necessarily something that’s on any of our minds, but it’s a necessity for anyone over age 60. If your parents cannot afford long-term care insurance, this may be something you want to consider.

Consider the scenario of a parent who is facing a condition like dementia, Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease, and requires long-term care. This situation can quickly eat up your parents’ retirement savings and even dip into your own savings and accounts. Those who qualify for Medicaid will receive some assistance, but it often leaves patients with limited options and plans for complete care.

As you near your 60s, long-term care should be on your horizon and part of your post-retirement financial plan. It’s a way to make sure you don’t financially burden your children or spouse and ensures you won’t leave them unable to make ends meet.

Identity Theft

If you’ve never faced the horror in dealing with having your identity stolen, then consider yourself very lucky. With data breaches on the rise among major retailers, it seems like everyone is at risk. Identity theft can cost you big-time in terms of time, money, effort, and just general headaches. In a worst-case scenario, identity theft can damage your credit and make recovery very difficult—even if you’re an innocent victim.

Part of your insurance portfolio should include identity theft protection. You should be sure it includes an identity restoration service that can fix the damage and get your identity restored and safe once again. Teaching your family good identity-safety habits such as limiting your exposure online and protecting your passwords can help protect you as well, but should the worst happen, insurance will be a lifesaver.

Long Island Insurance Company

Life

Life insurance can be a little confusing. The general rule of thumb is you need term, not whole life. Cash value insurance can sound like a great way to invest and save money, but truth be told, it doesn’t offer high returns at all and generally is a poor performing product.

Term life insurance, on the other hand, is a way to cover yourself until you’re debt free and in a position to invest. It offers a way to help your spouse or children settle your estate and survive in relative comfort should something happen to you.

Term life insurance can help you cover burial costs and the costs of paying off your debt, plus further support of your family, particularly if you’re the sole breadwinner.

Facing uncertain scenarios in life is always unsettling, but having the proper insurance coverage can ease your mind and allow you to sleep a little easier at night. Look into the faces of your children and think of all the ways you would love to keep them safe. Insurance is one of the most simple, practical, and logical ways to protect your loved ones. 

Language Barriers Create Country Borders

Image result for language barrier

We all should learn a new language not just to communicate, but to be able to get a better understanding of others around us. We need to start the process for the generations to come to live life where we all get along and live in a world where we survive together instead of fighting one another. We should be able to live in a world without borders or barriers, but it begins with language……Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

我們都應該學習一種新的語言不只是溝通,但要能更好地理解我們周圍的人。我們需要啟動該進程為世世代代居住生活的地方,我們都相處和生活在一個世界裡,我們生存的戰鬥,而不是彼此在一起。我們應該能夠生活在一個沒有邊界或障礙,但它開始用語言。……Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

Todos deberíamos aprender un nuevo idioma no sólo para comunicarse, sino ser capaz de obtener una mejor comprensión de los que nos rodean. Tenemos que empezar el proceso para las generaciones por venir a vivir la vida en el que todos llevamos y vivimos en un mundo donde sobrevivimos juntos en lugar de luchar entre sí. Debemos ser capaces de vivir en un mundo sin fronteras ni barreras, pero comienza con el lenguaje…….Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

Мы все должны выучить новый язык не только для общения, но, чтобы иметь возможность получить лучшее понимание окружающих нас. Мы должны начать процесс для будущих поколений жить жизнью, где все мы вместе и жить в мире, где мы выживаем вместе, а не бороться друг с другом. Мы должны быть в состоянии жить в мире без границ и барьеров, но это начинается с языка…….Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

Nous devrions tous apprendre une nouvelle langue et pas seulement de communiquer , mais pour être en mesure d’obtenir une meilleure compréhension des autres autour de nous . Nous devons commencer le processus pour les générations à venir de vivre la vie où nous entendons tous et nous vivons dans un monde où nous survivons ensemble au lieu de se battre les uns les autres . Nous devrions être en mesure de vivre dans un monde sans frontières ni barrières , mais il commence avec la langue…….Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

يجب علينا جميعا أن نتعلم لغة جديدة ليس فقط للتواصل، ولكن لتكون قادرة على الحصول على فهم أفضل من الآخرين من حولنا. نحن بحاجة للبدء في عملية للأجيال القادمة أن تعيش حياة حيث أننا جميعا الحصول على طول ونعيش في عالم حيث نعيش معا بدلا من محاربة بعضهم البعض. يجب أن نكون قادرين على العيش في عالم من دون حدود أو حواجز، ولكنها تبدأ مع اللغة…….Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

Noi tutti dovremmo imparare una nuova lingua, non solo per comunicare, ma per essere in grado di ottenere una migliore comprensione di altri intorno a noi. Abbiamo bisogno di avviare il processo per le generazioni a venire a vivere la vita in cui siamo tutti d’accordo e viviamo in un mondo in cui sopravviviamo insieme invece di combattere l’un l’altro. Dovremmo essere in grado di vivere in un mondo senza confini o barriere, ma inizia con il linguaggio…….Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

Tất cả chúng ta nên học một ngôn ngữ mới không chỉ để giao tiếp, nhưng để có thể có được một sự hiểu biết tốt hơn về những người khác xung quanh chúng ta. Chúng tôi cần phải bắt đầu quá trình cho các thế hệ mai để sống cuộc sống mà tất cả chúng ta được cùng sống trong một thế giới mà chúng ta tồn tại với nhau thay vì chiến đấu với nhau. Chúng tôi sẽ có thể sống trong một thế giới không biên giới hoặc các rào cản, nhưng nó bắt đầu với ngôn ngữ…….Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

Dapat namin ang lahat ng malaman ng isang bagong wika ay hindi lamang upang makipag-usap, ngunit upang magagawang upang makakuha ng isang mas mahusay na pag-unawa ng iba sa paligid sa amin. Kailangan namin upang simulan ang proseso para sa mga darating na henerasyon sa live na buhay na kung saan namin ang lahat ng makakuha ng kasama at mabuhay sa isang mundo kung saan nagpapatuloy kami magkasama sa halip na labanan ang isa’t isa. Kami ay dapat ma upang mabuhay sa isang daigdig na walang hangganan o hadlang, ngunit ito ay nagsisimula sa wika…….Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

Մենք բոլորս պետք է սովորել նոր լեզու է ոչ միայն շփվելու, այլեւ կարողանան ստանալ ավելի լավ հասկանալ, թե ուրիշների շրջապատում: Մենք պետք է սկսել գործընթացը, որ սերունդների է ապրել կյանքը, որտեղ մենք բոլորս միասին, եւ ապրել մի աշխարհում, որտեղ մենք գոյատեւել միասին, այլ ոչ թե պայքարում են մեկը մյուսին. Մենք պետք է կարողանանք ապրել մի աշխարհում, առանց սահմանների եւ արգելքների, բայց դա սկսվում լեզվով…….Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

Wir alle sollten eine neue Sprache nicht nur zu kommunizieren, aber in der Lage, ein besseres Verständnis der anderen um uns herum zu sein zu lernen. Wir müssen den Prozess zu starten für die kommenden Generationen zu leben, wo wir alle zusammen zu bekommen und leben in einer Welt, wo wir zusammen statt gegeneinander kämpfen zu überleben leben. Wir sollten in der Lage, in einer Welt ohne Grenzen oder Barrieren zu leben, aber es beginnt mit der Sprache…….Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

Ba chóir dúinn go léir teanga nua ní hamháin a chur in iúl, ach a bheith in ann a fháil tuiscint níos fearr ar dhaoine eile thart timpeall orainn a fhoghlaim. Ní mór dúinn chun tús a chur le próiseas do na glúine atá le teacht an saol nuair a fháil againn go léir chomh maith agus ag maireachtáil i ndomhan ina maireachtáil againn le chéile in ionad an troid a chéile chun maireachtáil. Ba cheart dúinn a bheith in ann maireachtáil i ndomhan gan teorainneacha nó bacainní, ach tosaíonn sé le teanga…….Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

Waxaan oo dhan waa iney bartaan luqad cusub ma ahan oo keliya in ay la xiriiraan, laakiin si ay u awoodaan in ay helaan faham wanaagsan oo dadka nagu wareegsan. Waxaan u baahanahay si ay u bilaabaan habka loo jiilasha soosocda in ay ku noolaadaan nolol halka aan dhan u hesho iyo ku noolnahay adduun halkaas oo aan ku noolaan wada halkii ay dagaal midba midka kale. Waa in aan awoodin in ay ku noolaadaan dunida oo aan xuduudaha ama caqabadaha, laakiin waxay ka bilaabanaysaa afka…….Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

Ние всички трябва да научат нов език не само да общуват, но за да бъде в състояние да получи по-добро разбиране на другите около нас. Ние трябва да започне процеса за идните поколения да живеят живот, където всички ние се разбираме и да живеем в един свят, където можем да оцелеят заедно, вместо да се биете един на друг. Трябва да можем да живеем в свят без граници или бариери, но тя започва с език…….Samantha E. Jonas-Rongo

Don’t Always Baby Your Baby

Don’t Always Baby Your Baby

It is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings

Good parents realize that there is always much more for them to learn about in regards to being “good parents”. In a perfect world, parents would all have boundless energy, patience, knowledge, tolerance, understanding and flexibility, but no one is perfect. There is so much more to being a parent than just putting them to sleep, feeding them and buying their necessities. It also includes having a wide variety of practical skills in which more than majority of parents aren’t equipped with to have the ability to inquire, or even have the knowledge of the skill’s being, let alone their importance and affects.

When it comes to my stepson,  or my own future biological children….it is not my job — and it is certainly not anyone else’s — to prevent them from feeling frustration, fear, or discomfort. If I do, I have robbed them of the opportunity to learn that those things are not the end of the world, and can be overcome or used to their advantage.

If they get stuck, it is not my job or anyone else’s to save them immediately. If I do, I have robbed them of the opportunity to learn to calm themselves, assess their situation, and try to problem solve their own way out of it.

  • I don’t want my children to learn that they can’t overcome obstacles without help.
  • I don’t want them to learn that they can reach great heights without effort.
  • I don’t want them to learn that they are entitled to the reward without having to push through whatever it is that’s holding them back and EARN it.
  • I want my children to know the exhilaration of overcoming fear and doubt and achieving a hard-won success.
  • I want them to believe in their own abilities and be confident and determined in their actions.
  • I want them to accept their limitations until they can figure out a way past them on their own significant power.
  • I want them to feel capable of making their own decisions, developing their own skills, taking their own risks, and coping with their own feelings.
  • I want them to climb that ladder on the slide without any help, because they can. I know it. If I give them a little space, they will soon know it too.

Because, as they grow up, the ladders will only get taller, and scarier, and much more difficult to climb. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather help them learn the skills they’ll need to navigate them now, while a misstep means a bumped head or scraped knee that can be healed with a kiss, while the most difficult of hills can be conquered by chanting, “I think I can” to “I know I can” to “I did it”

Samantha Jonas-Rongo

I Am a Mother, Accept It

I Am a Mother, Accept It

A mother is a mother; is a mother. I don’t care if she gives birth, adopts, fosters, or is co-parenting her boyfriend’s/ fiancé’s/ husband’s kid(s) with his kids’ mother.

Giving birth immediately makes a woman a mother, a bio mother, but not necessarily a parent. A mother, yes, this is biological destiny, a religious blessing, and simple anatomy science. This is fact. It does not matter if she is not raising her child. It does not matter if she does not play any significant role in the child’s life at all. It does not matter who she is or what she does for a living or how much money she has or what her IQ is. The fact that she gave birth is indisputable. It makes her a biological mother, but not a parent.

Adopting or fostering makes one a mother and a parent. You have a legal document that says so. You are doing the mothering, parenting and the loving. You are building a relationship and a history with your child. You are a mom.

Mom is in the term “step-mom”.  Again, you are building a relationship, and a history with a child, or children, they’re your child, your children.

I am a mom as well. I didn’t give birth to any, but I am a mother, accept it.

To those many woman in my shoes or alike, that’s loving, providing for and protecting a child or children that’s not theirs, you are a mother to that child or children, regardless of their bio moms availability, relationship or opinion. In your heart, as well as the child(ren)s, their father’s, maybe mother’s (depending on your sexual preference), you do have a role without boundaries, because your love has none. Don’t believe you have a place that is limited or a role that is minimum, you loving a child that’s not yours is normal, not weird. A woman who’s says its weird is a woman who has the inability to do it herself.

When another woman takes place in a childs life, this woman is automatically a bad character in too many mothers eye’s. Some even take it to the extent to share that opinion with their child(ren). She now becomes topic in conversation amongst a mother’s conversation with her family and friends, but majority of the time, a jealous, classless and even coniving woman makes it a negative one almost everytime. Some are even caught in lies when others from her party try to intervene.

It’s still a valid question to ask why do many woman say they want to know who’s around their child(ren), but do not take the time to learn about them woman to woman. She may say she wants to see if she’s a good person, but when she finds the good, its not shared amongst her circle, but she rather negatively discuss her and even tease her flaws. Most likely because that other woman is a better woman, and may even make a better mother. In the end, from the very beginning, a mother can continue to show that the only negative woman involved in that child’s life is the actual mother herself with her rude comments, disrespectful, and even violent demeanor towards the woman she expects to be of high value to be good enough for her child(ren).

 

Why does it feel like some bio-moms need to make it a war, or a competition? Someone always has to be the loser, and the other the winner. Or another woman has to be trying to take over instead of working with. Some women and their “territory”, it’s sad. A child isn’t property. A child is human aren’t they? Aren’t people, people, and not ones property?

Why must a woman be able to accept another woman as a mother figure, and even call them mom, ma or say they are “like” or “are” their mom, but when it comes to their own child(ren), no other woman can be that to them? Why must she ask her child(ren) if the other woman makes them call her mom? Or even tell their child(ren) never to call her mom? Eventually the child(ren) will realize that his or her neighbors, celebrity idols, friends, and other family members call another woman mom or ma and realize it is normal, and not a crime. Thus, he or she will then realize how selfish, immature and even jealous their mother is or was, and will call that other woman ma or mom at their own will.

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What many of us woman need to understand is, is that woman who do act like that, are woman who do not have the ability or willingness to love, and nurture a child that is not their own, and maybe one that is as well. She cannot be with a man who has children Of his own nor take care of a child or children who isn’t hers and provide that child with what One needs emotionally and spiritualy to grow healthy and happy.

You’re a mother. She’s a mother. You’re a mother. I’m a mother, accept it.

How does a child have the ability to have a step-father, or simply have a man around and involved, who’s not their father, in their life, but another woman can’t step foot near or have time spent with them and a step mom is of nonexistence and is treated as a crime? I’m confused.

Be glad that a child of yours has extra love and guidance in their life. Even though you may have used, or use your child(ren) as pawns, doesn’t mean that “house” is a game that another woman plays with your child(ren) as its pieces.

“This is MY child”, “These are MY kids”, an unconfident or threatened woman would reply or start a conversation with. Obviously the other woman didn’t give birth, you did, so that is not needed to be mentioned. You aren’t proving a point of who’s the mother, or that you are the one in control, you’re showing how weak, threatened and unconfident you are as a woman, as a mother.

A woman who shows that persona when it comes to her own, and shows her over protectiveness to a man that has children himself, shows that his children will never be priority nor good enough to be considered her own and therefore, that relationship nor any other will work. It scares and turns off a man, its shows far off from being a loving woman and a mature mother.

It is crazy and completely irrational, but one may think another woman is trying to take her kid(s) from her, or that their kid(s) would like the other woman better and wish she were their mom instead. A not so great mother with a guilty conscience or unconfident woman feels her motherhood has been threatened or questioned, like perhaps she was being judged and maybe she has been discovered as not a good enough parent. But, a great and confident mother would know better, and therefore would do better.

Love is what makes a mother, not just biological science or spiritual religion.

Whether our children are biological, adopted, fostered, step or spiritual, love is what gives us that role of influence in another’s life. We are mothers because we love, and love is paired, so often and necessarily, with sacrifice.

Having a heart doesn’t make you compassionate any more than having a brain makes you intelligent. You had the tools to create a child as any woman does, but that doesn’t mean you have the correct priorities or guidance to raise one. Some woman, and their so-called “motherly love, fight and awareness”, it’s sad and even sadder of the lack of knowledge and commitment some have to fulfill the role of a positive, rational and loving mother.

Good mothers set a high enough bar of being ones mother and a confident and mature mother would not be in fear of losing the role she loved and valued so much. If she knew she was doing the job correctly, there would be nothing to fear, only something to gain, the additional love that her child(ren) would endure. And being a mother involves sacrificing your own pride for your child(ren)’s emotional well-being and allowing your child to love another.

Love and sacrifice.

The love we give, and the sacrifices us woman make for the love we give is what makes us mothers. Its about what our child(ren) needs, not what we want. I will be dressed in rags before I keep my stepson, well my son, away from what pleases him. He wants to do martial arts, my hair appointments will now take place in my own bathroom. He needs extra support with school work, I will adjust my schedule. He wants to spend more time with me, my nights out come to an end. He is the son of my fiancé, I am the fiancé of his father. In the same, I am a mother, he is my son. He’s not a part of my biological DNA, but we are both major key parts in each other’s positive emotional well-being, spiritual world and life in whole.

It was love that led Christ to come to earth, and it was love that led him to, and through the cross. As women made in his image, we are called to love and serve those in our care, whether they are our physical or spiritual children. But truly loving and sacrificing for others is costly, in small and large ways. And in this way, it is Love that makes us mothers. We need not be biological mothers to fulfill the role.

I am a mother, accept it.

– Samantha Jonas-Rongo

Children and Social Networks

Children and Social Networks

Samantha Jonas-Rongo

Social media, the world where the socialites and others alike, along with those non socially active can be whomever they like, meet, greet, chat and even build relationships and/or friendships. It is the nesting ground for friends, family and even predators. As a parent and an educator, this topic is near and dear to my heart. Every week that passes, the social media landscape changes, and keeping up with it can be a nightmare.

If you’re a parent or guardian of any child or teenager, you have to keep up with it. You have to be savvy enough to know what social networks your kids are using. You can’t use the excuse: “I don’t understand this stuff!”, for example: Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Vine, Google+, Facebook etc. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s time to start doing some research. You don’t have to be an expert, but you should know how these networks operate. These are the platforms your teenagers, or soon to be teenagers are probably using right now or are interested in doing so.

What if your child asks you if they can get a Facebook, Twitter, Google, Instagram, etc… account?

Don’t start with NO! You want to start this journey with them knowing you’re there for them. That doesn’t mean you have to say yes either but hear them out first. Start with questions like these:

  1. Why do you want a Facebook account? They’ll probably answer with something like “Because ALL my friends have one”.
  1. Which of your friends are on Facebook and are allowed by their parents? Hopefully they tell you. If not, maybe they’re not ready to be on social media.
  1. Are these the only people you would be friends with on Facebook? This might be a good time to talk about only interacting with people they know in real life.
  1. What do you know about Facebook? They may say something like “You talk to friends and share photos”.
  1. What kind of photos would you be sharing? My guess is they’ll say something like “I don’t know. Me and my friends.” This is a great time to talk about what types of photos are appropriate to share online and why.

social media tips for law firms

After you’ve had this conversation with your child you need to make a decision as to whether they’re ready for social media or not. If you’re on the fence about letting them you can always say “Yes, but under one condition. You have to share your password with me. If you’re being honest about why you want to be on Facebook then you have nothing to hide from me”. You can also tell them you’ll only use the password if you feel like they’re hiding something from you or not using the network responsibly. A written agreement between you and your teen might serve as a reminder of rules that are not to be broken and consequences that will happen if they are. Refer back to it often and review the rules when appropriate.

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Here is some advice to get you started on educating yourself and your children on how to use social media safely:

  • Teach your child about respect. Respecting themselves and respecting others. If you stop them from being on Twitter or Facebook, they’ll just move to WhatsApp or Instagram or SnapChat or Google+ or … you get the point. Give them the skills to make good decisions first and foremost.
  • Teach your child that whatever they put online is permanent, this includes Emailing! Private is not always private. The photo or video they post online is not owned by them anymore. It’s owned by Facebook, Instagram, Google, etc…whatever site they posted on, and they can do what they want with it. Not only are certin things crimes, they can be persecuted not only by their peers, but even the law if it is reported. Certain photos even make them easy targets for bullies and predators as well.

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  • Some day your kids may apply to a high school or college, or submit a resume for a job, and I can assure you they will most likely be researched online. An employer, or school may still conduct a background check, but it is very common that a simple Google, and then social network search is part of the process. Ask yourself, what will their impression of my child be when their done? Therefore, teach them to also share their accomplishments like academic awards, sports awards, volunteering, community events, school club activities etc. online when they are involved in them and keep the negative outlook off of the web.
  • Tell your child to never take seductive photos and text them to her “boyfriend”. It’s incredibly risky and foolish because at some point her boyfriend probably won’t be the only person to see those photos. The same is true for girlfriends. They share pictures of ‘hot guys’ around as well. ‘Sexting’ should be a subject discussed before any smartphone is purchased. All this applies to pictures of under-age drinking, doing drugs, or any other illegal activity due to the negative outlook on their personality and being, your parenting, as well as their future job and school inquiries.
  • Explain to your child that communicating verbally is completely different than communicating online. If you happen to say something verbally that you later regret you can fix this over time. If you happen to post something online that you later regret, that content may never disappear and you may never be able to fix it. It is easy to press delete, but let’s be real, the internet does not erase, and everything sticks to the IP address. With technology allowing screen shots and downloads to occur, it may be deleted on your end, but still exist on another. So besides it still available on the IP address, the other party still has the physical evidence available at hand.
  • Trust goes as far as they trust their friends! ‘Private’ or “Protected’ accounts give teens a false sense of security, since those ‘trusted friends’ might post pictures of you, tag you, or leave accounts open and accessible to parents or worse, peers. This is where ‘Don’t say ANYTHING you wouldn’t say out loud’ applies most!

  • Make sure your child knows to come to you with a problem right when it occurs, so you can help fix it. Things can get out of hand quickly online, as pictures, texts and posts can go viral within hours! Whether something is happening on their accounts, or an a friends’ account they need to know to report it to you. Let them know coming to you is their only option and that you will always listen.
  • Be present and aware of what your children are doing online. Don’t give a laptop/iPad/iPod etc and let them go to their room for the night if you don’t plan on keeping an eye on them. Know what apps they have. Know their password to these devices. You have to find a balance between trusting your child and parenting. If you don’t give them some space they’ll never learn to make good decisions (even if that means making a mistake here and there) and if you’re completely oblivious to their online activities you’re making it far too easy for them to potentially make an unrepairable mistake as well as making it difficult for them to open up and share their online world with you. You are their parent/guardian, not their friend…some things just shouldn’t be tolerted not accepted.
  • Review the privacy settings of each app with your child. You’ll probably want to make sure that they’re not sharing their current location due to the potential ifs of bullies and/or predetor.

 Location matters Spatial standards for the Internet of Things

  • Teach your child not to interact/follow people they don’t know in person, tech them that having many friend on social network doesn’t mean that everyone is their friend in real life. Now a days, following a celecrity can even be a risk dur to the scam artist protrying to be them.
  • Start this journey into social media by making your teenager responsible for their hardware as well. Paying for their own smartphone and monthly bill will quickly teach a teen responsibility and accountability. No work, no money, no phone. It’s how the real world works. As a parent, I have a $10 pay-as-you-go phone as a back-up in case my stepson hasn’t paid his bill. He’s too young to work but allowance is given and that is his source of income. If your child is in the same predicament and your child is using your device, I will give you the same advice I have shared with many of my closest friends: “A parent’s device means all time-limits, usage rules, passwords are completely dictation by the parent”.

My favorite tip is lead by example. Practice what you preach if you want them to navigate their digital life safely.

Samantha Jonas-Rongo

Reading Benefits

Read

Samantha Jonas-Rongo

84% of people are reading less and less deeply. The National Endowment for the Art has found that reading has declined among every group of adult Americans. Literacy has been improving in countries like India and China, but that literacy may not translate into more or deeper reading.

People seem to be reading less material particularly unrelated from celebrity gossip, social media or fashion. When was the last time you read a fiction novel, educational book, or a substantial magazine or news article? Do your daily reading habits center around tweets, Facebook updates or short written text messages? If you’re one of the majority of people who don’t make a habit of reading regularly, you might be missing out: reading has a significant number of benefits.

More than often, people will tell me that I write too much, which is why they don’t bother to read or even view my site. On average, I write at most, 1000 words. That’s about the same as scrolling down your Facebook wall for 3 minutes. The only difference, I speak upon random, relevant subjects and matters, all in one proportion. My case being, there are differences in materials of reading, and what they offer. I believe, the more knowledge you have, the better-equipped you are to tackle any challenge you’ll ever face.

In this post, I will be brief, so therefore it’s not too much to read. As you read, realize that I’m not wrong for writing much, those who are too lazy to read are in the wrong and need to make the adjusment.

Book Wallpaper - reading Wallpaper

As adults, whether parents or not, we need to set by example for any child, how essential and great reading is. I personally believe, not enforcing a child to participate in creative and productive reading, or setting by example, is terrible leadership of the essential reading habits a child should inquire. We want our children to read so they can build a productive vocabulary, an advanced imagination, and not only learn to make decisions now, but continue to make more.

It is not only healthy for you to read, but it gives your child the illusion of how important, and great it can be so they will continue as adults. It also shows that the existence and importance of reading outside of school is not a delusion, but a continuing part, and knowledge builder of life. Reading outside of the classroom will not seem foreign to them if they see it exists.

We teach our children to be leaders, not followers; and good leadership begins with gaining relevant information that is provided through reading and example.

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Leadership benefits of reading are actually wide-ranging. Evidence suggests reading can improve intelligence and lead to innovation and insight. Reading makes you smarter through a larger vocabulary, and more world knowledge in addition to the abstract reasoning skills. It is one of the quickest ways to acquire and assimilate new information. The more one reads, both adults and children, the more words they gain exposure to, and enhance their everyday vocabulary.

Reading not only helps build a child’s future leadership skills overall, it allows more effectiveness in leading others. Reading increases verbal intelligence, making a leader a more adept, and articulate communicator. Reading novels can improve empathy and understanding of social cues, allowing the average person, parent and leader to better work with and understand others.

I personally believe that reading across fields is good for creativity, and offers a larger decisions bracket to create and choose from. Leaders who can sample insights in other fields, such as sociology, the physical sciences, economics, or psychology, and apply them to the organizations or movements that they are leading, are more likely to innovate and prosper.

These deep, broad reading habits one must acquire as an adult, if haven’t during childhood already, are often a defining characteristic of our greatest leaders, and can catalyze insight, innovation, empathy, and personal effectiveness. An active literary life can also make you more personally effective by keeping you relaxed and improving health; as reading for only six minutes can reduce stress by 68%.

Some studies suggest reading may even fend off Alzheimer’s disease and Dementia, since keeping your brain active and engaged prevents it from losing power. Just like any other muscle in the body, the brain requires exercise to keep it strong and healthy, extending the longevity of the mind.

Any business person (leader), understands that heightened emotional and mental intelligence will improve his or her leadership and management ability, along with parenting and running a household.

There are still many more reading benefits, but this is a short post.

Samantha Jonas-Rongo

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The Importance of Play for Later Success

The Importance of Play for Later Success

Samantha Jonas-Rongo

play

As children grow, play is an important factor for their development. They gain knowledge and skills benefitting not only their current life, but they also build a foundation for further success as an adult. Every time a child plays, they learn more about the world surrounding them and how to manage situations along with dealing with others. Play is fun for children and without them realizing, they are learning and beginning their education on life.

The stages of play vary, each style and effect. It is the work of childhood, in a laboratory in which they make developments, figure out how the world works, who they are and who they might be. Play is essential to development because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children to help prosper. As children grow and change, play develops with them according to a developmental sequence as they age.

Communication also plays a key role in the success of any workplace program or policy, and is gained starting while interacting with others at a young age, normally during play. The type of work that is on the rise and still earns a decent living is work that involves not only uniquely human skills, as opposed to skills that a computer can copy, but skills that are standardized across humans. Job growth has occurred in those jobs that require creativity and relationships. Over the past several decades, majority of jobs require complex communication and cognitive work or expert thinking.

Importance of Play-way method in Child’s Development

For starters, a reputation for trustworthiness is an important asset in personal living, and in our economy. Developing such a reputation requires the ability to act with responsibility and with a sense of ethics which is related to learning to socialize and communicate with others beginning as children. Success, then, in the type of economy toward which we are moving, and that today’s children will experience, depends upon the capacities of creativity, self-knowledge, social skills, and virtue. Relationships matter not just because the economy is structured by levels of relationships among firms, but because the primary economic assets reside within individuals. Before an innovation becomes marketable, it is an idea that lives within the mind of the innovator. Relationships and interpersonal cooperation are part and parcel of the creative economy.

During early childhood, peer interaction increases as children move from nonsocial activity, such as an unoccupied and/or onlooker, advancing to participate. Parents and/or caregivers influence early peer relations both directly through attempts to influence their child’s peer relations and indirectly through their parent moral practices. Secure attachment, emotionally positive parent-child conversations, and cooperative parent-child play are linked to favorable peer interaction. As the frequency of associative and cooperative play increase, the frequency of non-social activity is constant.

Very young children normally have a limited form of social participation. They play near other children with similar materials, but will most likely not try to influence or interact with other children. This is the parallel play stage, and is in par for the developmental course for babies, even toddlers.

While they may appear to be playing independently, kids this age are actually keeping an eye on each other’s behavior. Eventually, they’ll begin to imitate what he or she sees the others doing, and the peer pressure opens their mind to new possibilities for play. Becoming observant and imitating eventually helps extend vocabulary. Parallel play is often a first step in forming strong social relationships outside of the family.

Developing Core Vocabulary for Each Academic Area

Play is also vital to children’s social development. It enables children to develop a better communicating ground. During play, children increase their verbal and non-verbal communication skills by negotiating roles, and extending their speech, vocabulary and comprehension of the words. By becoming social with others, they exercise their abilities to identify with others as well as themselves. They learn to gain access to their peers’ feelings and appreciating the feelings of others.

Play also supports emotional maturity by providing a way to express and cope with feelings. While they play, they are allowed to think about experienced feelings both pleasant and unpleasant and re-enact the situation to their preference. In addition to expressing feelings, children also learn to cope with their feelings as they act out. For example, how they react to being angry or overwhelmed in response to situations and other people. In play, children learn how to regulate their fear and anger and thereby learn how to maintain emotional control in threatening real-life situations.

Play also contributes to children’s fine and gross motor development and body awareness as they actively use their bodies. Using their bodies during play enables them to feel physically confident, secure and self-assured. It provides various health benefits as well. Physical activity promotes early brain development, and learning in infants and young children. It also decreases the risk of developing health conditions like coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes mellitus, obesity and many other chronic health conditions.

Most children naturally develop the ability to run and walk. However, they require practice and instruction to develop hopping, galloping, sliding, catching, jumping, throwing, kicking, bouncing and striking skills. Children incorporate these skills into sports, games and dance. Playgrounds are perfect places for a child to develop mental connections, socialize and develop fine and gross motor skills.

Collaborating to Solve Problems

Creative thinking can also be considered an aspect of problem solving which originates in play. When young children use their imaginations, they become more creative, perform better at school task, and develop a problem solving approach to learning. It allows a new response and awareness of new connections. Children create their own version of transformation of information including music, arts & crafts and audio-visual.

Symbolic play is an often-overlooked important scaffold to emerging literacy. The appearance of symbolic play is considered one of the most significant cognitive developments of a young child. Symbolic play, along with deferred imitation and language; signals the development of representational thought and allows gradual exploration and control. The key importance of representational thought is that the child is now able to represent objects and events symbolically. Symbolic representation shows you how sophisticated their brain is becoming. It also allows them to prepare for, or work through future events and situations, and build relationships with others.

The industrial age was a time in which first manual, and then routine cognitive skills were emphasized. We have found that the work of both of these skill categories can be replicated by machines. Today, more Americans are employed in the arts, entertainment and designed industries than are employed as lawyers, accountants and auditors. Our economy also has more writers and artist than ever before. Due to how they will be plying their own human assets in their entrepreneurial endeavors, today’s children will need to know how to make full use of their human assets.

More than thirty percent of the work force belongs to the “creative class”, a group of people whose primary occupation involves creativity-based human capital whose numbers now suppress those of the working class. Primary assets that creative economy participants use to ply their entrepreneurial talents are those that are uniquely human in nature. In other words, educating the human being is becoming an economic necessity, not simply an alternative lifestyle. Not only is the creative economy more entrepreneurial, but its roots are structured differently.

Technology, of course, encompasses more than just computers and machines. The machines themselves are actually the product of process of technology, which represents the ability to create a tangible product. Technology, is then dependent upon human cognitive capacities as are talent and tolerance. Computer programming, work that we use to consider white-collar and highly skilled, is increasingly diminishing. In almost all cases these types of jobs are learning economies like ours, because the forms of careers that are expanding, relay on routine cognitive skills.

The fact of the matter is, healthy play offers the ability to evolve into healthy success.                                                                                                                                 

Samantha Jonas-Rongo